1 00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:09,160 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:12,460 - MY EX-WIFE IS LOOKING FOR A NEW NANNY FOR OUR SON. 3 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:15,630 ANY INTEREST? 4 00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:17,470 - YOU LIKE THAT? - NO, CHARLIE! 5 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,300 - HEY, WE COULD WATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING. 6 00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:22,440 - INAPPROPRIATE, CHARLIE. - RIGHT, THAT. 7 00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:23,640 - HOW'S BECCA? 8 00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:25,710 - BOYFRIEND. I WANNA KILL HIM, HANK. 9 00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:28,480 - A YOUNG, GOOD-LOOKING GUY, SWOOPS IN, STARTS SNIFFING 10 00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:30,610 AROUND YOUR ONE-AND-ONLY, AND YOU QUESTION HIS MOTIVES. 11 00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,280 BUT I REALLY LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER. 12 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,780 - HE'S YOU. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 13 00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:36,850 THE KID'S A LOATHSOME, FUCKING ASSHOLE. 14 00:00:36,890 --> 00:00:39,360 - I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO RICHARD BATES. 15 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,560 - HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE STUFF SINCE SLICK WILLIE 16 00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:42,230 WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 17 00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:43,830 - [whispers] RICHARD. - BABY. COME ON UP, HONEY! 18 00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,500 - [whispers] STOP IT. 19 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:46,730 TYLER SWITCHED DRINKS, THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY 20 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,170 TO WATCH HIM GET DRUNK. 21 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,170 - JESUS, THAT KID REALLY IS A YOUNG ME. 22 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,700 [laughing] WANT ME TO GO AFTER HIM? 23 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:53,570 - NO, I DON'T. JUST LET HIM RUN IT OFF. 24 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,570 HEY, CAN I COME IN? 25 00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:57,870 IT'S RICHARD, YOU KNOW, HE WON'T STOP DRINKING. 26 00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:00,380 I THINK I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, YOU KNOW? 27 00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:19,260 - [sighs] 28 00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:31,880 - [snorts] 29 00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:33,440 OH, FUCK! 30 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,310 - [chuckles] 31 00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:36,580 - OH, FUCK, PLEASE TELL ME WE DIDN'T. 32 00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:38,220 - I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT. 33 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,650 - OH, MY GOD. - I-I-I WON'T TELL YOU THAT. 34 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,920 Y-Y-YOU DON'T REMEMBER? - NO. 35 00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,650 - ANYTHING? - NO. 36 00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:43,890 - OF COURSE WE DID. 37 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,290 IT WAS PRETTY EPIC STUFF, TOO. 38 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,290 IT WAS LIKE A GODDAMN SEX OPERA. 39 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,790 YOUR ARIA WAS BEAUTIFUL, BY THE WAY. 40 00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,160 - OH, MY GOD, THIS IS SO FUCKED UP. 41 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,830 - YEAH...AND NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE. 42 00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,570 - REALLY? - GIMME A BREAK, LADY. 43 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,440 I DIDN'T EVEN LAY A HAND ON YOU. 44 00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:01,770 DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A MARRIED WOMAN 45 00:02:01,810 --> 00:02:04,270 IN SUCH A SORRY STATE? 46 00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:05,880 THAT'S NOT VERY NICE. 47 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:09,310 - OH, GOD, ALL I REMEMBER IS, LIKE... 48 00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:10,710 HAVING A COUPLE OF DRINKS AND THEN-- 49 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,680 - WHICH, FOR YOU, IS LIKE THE EQUIVALENT 50 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,920 OF GETTING TOTALLY BLOTTO. 51 00:02:14,950 --> 00:02:18,320 - I KNOW-- [pounding on door] 52 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,590 NO-- - COME ON. 53 00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:21,760 GIVE ME A LITTLE TONGUE FOR BEING GOOD! 54 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,560 - THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE 55 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:27,460 OF ME WHEN I'M SURE YOU TOTALLY COULD HAVE. 56 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,870 - NOW YOU TELL ME. 57 00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:34,300 WHOA. BATESY? 58 00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,610 - [coughs] - WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE? 59 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:40,840 - HANK. 60 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,650 - TALK TO ME, BUDDY. USE YOUR WORDS. 61 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,320 [whispers] QUIETLY. 62 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:47,620 - HANK, I WOKE UP IN A STRANGE WOMAN'S BED. 63 00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:49,290 - OH. 64 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,260 - I MEAN, SHE WAS NAKED, HANK. 65 00:02:52,290 --> 00:02:53,890 INCREDIBLY NAKED. 66 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:57,390 - I GOT IT. 67 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:59,330 - I CAN'T FIND MY WEDDING RING. I'M FUCKED! 68 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,230 - [whispers] SHH! INSIDE VOICE. 69 00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:05,300 - [crying] I CAN'T GO HOME AND FACE KAREN LIKE THIS. 70 00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:08,470 - BEEN THERE. - [cries] 71 00:03:08,510 --> 00:03:10,310 - WHY DON'T WE DO THIS? 72 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,010 - HEY, BATESY. BATESY, STAY. 73 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,550 STAY. 74 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,550 - [whispering] HEY, DID I HEAR SOMEONE CRYING? 75 00:03:23,590 --> 00:03:24,920 - OH, YEAH, THAT'S JUST CHARLIE. 76 00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,290 - OH, MY GOD-- - NO, HE'S FINE. 77 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,560 HE CRIES A LOT, WOULDN'T YOU? 78 00:03:27,590 --> 00:03:29,590 - LET'S GO TO SEE-- - [chuckles] 79 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:30,860 - YOU WANNA GO GRAB SOME BREAKFAST? 80 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:32,600 - UH, NO. N-N-NO. NOT HUNGRY. 81 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:33,930 - NO? - TUMMY TROUBLES, ACTUALLY. 82 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,330 TOO MUCH BOOZE AND MARITAL WOE. 83 00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:38,300 YEAH, IT WAS LIKE WATCHING A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE 84 00:03:38,340 --> 00:03:39,700 OF REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SOMEWHERE LAME. 85 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,310 - I-- - YEAH... 86 00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:42,540 I THINK YOU SHOULD GO, KAREN. 87 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,540 I THINK YOU GOTTA GO. 88 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:45,310 WHAT? WHA-- 89 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,780 - NO. I-I JUST KIND OF FIGURED YOU'D WANNA HANG OUT 90 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,580 FOR A WHILE-- - OH, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 91 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:52,280 SO I'M LIKE SOME LOVELORN PUPPY, YOU THROW ME A BONE, 92 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,580 I'M SUPPOSED TO ROLL OVER, LICK MY BALLS, AND FETCH? 93 00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:55,720 IS THAT IT? 94 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,350 WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME, KAREN. 95 00:03:57,390 --> 00:03:59,020 PEACE BE WITH YOU. 96 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,730 OFF YOU GO. 97 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,540 BATESY! 98 00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:16,040 - [snoring] 99 00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:19,040 [upbeat music] 100 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:27,020 * 101 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:02,050 [rock music] 102 00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:03,490 * 103 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,720 - PRETTY GRIM, BATESY. 104 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:06,460 HOW THE FUCK DID YOU END UP HERE? 105 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,090 - AH, I JUST REMEMBER DRINKING MYSELF BLIND, 106 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,560 GETTING INTO A CAB. 107 00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:14,060 TOLD THE GUY TO TAKE ME TO A FUCKING STRIP CLUB, 108 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,100 AND AFTER THAT, IT'S JUST A BLUR OF TITTIES AND BEER. 109 00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:19,500 - [chuckles] - [groans] 110 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:21,410 OH, SHIT. THIS WAY. 111 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:27,910 OH, GOD. OH, GOD. 112 00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,080 - HELLO? 113 00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:32,520 OH, HEY. HEY! 114 00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:34,880 - BATES! [laughs] 115 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,150 YOU SNUCK OUT ON ME, YOU TRICKY LITTLE DICKY, YOU! 116 00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:39,560 - [whispers] SHE KNOWS MY NAME, HANK. 117 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:40,890 - [mutters] YES, INDEED, SHE DOES... 118 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,490 AND SHE APPEARS TO HAVE YOUR WEDDING RING, TOO. 119 00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:46,030 - YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO BE, UH, SICK. 120 00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:47,430 UH, MAY I-- [chokes] 121 00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:48,600 - OH, YOU KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS. 122 00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:50,000 DOWN THE HALL AND TO THE LEFT. 123 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,900 THAT'S WHERE I SHOT YOU UP LAST NIGHT! 124 00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:56,640 [laughs] I'M JUST KIDDING. 125 00:05:56,670 --> 00:05:58,480 - HANK. - OH, HOLLY. 126 00:05:58,510 --> 00:06:00,110 - HOLLY. OKAY. SO, UH... 127 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:03,050 WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE IF THE MAN NEEDS HIS WEDDING RING BACK? 128 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,150 - OH, WELL, I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND, 129 00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:08,490 AND I'M TOTALLY SYMPATHETIC, BUT HE DID PAY ME WITH IT. 130 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,620 THE GUY WENT TO TOWN IN THE VIP ROOM. 131 00:06:10,650 --> 00:06:12,790 DANCE AFTER DANCE AFTER DANCE. 132 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:16,960 I SHOOK MY MONEYMAKER TO AN ENTIRE ALBUM FOR HIM. 133 00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:18,560 GUNS N' ROSES. APPETITE. 134 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,430 - GREAT ALBUM, GREAT ALBUM. - THE BEST. 135 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:23,800 LOST MY CHERRY TO IT. FRONT AND BACK. 136 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,040 - HMM. 137 00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:28,710 [coughs] HOW MUCH... IS IT GONNA-- 138 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,910 [Bates retches] - [sighs] 139 00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:32,980 [Bates continues retching] 140 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,680 - COME ON. 141 00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:38,180 THESE ARE 20s. - I KNOW. COME ON. 142 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,920 OKAY. THAT'S IT. 143 00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:42,890 NOT A DOLLAR MORE. THAT'S WHAT I'M OWED. 144 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,490 MM-HMM. 145 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:45,860 - CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 146 00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:47,020 - SURE THING, HANK. 147 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,930 - DID YOU GUYS, UH, YOU KNOW-- 148 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,530 - FUCK? - YEAH. 149 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,560 - [chuckles] WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M A SLUT? 150 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,470 YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE I DANCE NAKED FOR MONEY, 151 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,570 THAT I'M AN EASY LAY? - NO. 152 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,900 - [laughs] OH, REALLY? 153 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,600 WELL, NO, ACTUALLY. 154 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,770 WE CAME BACK HERE, WE BREWED SOME MINT TEA, 155 00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:05,840 CURLED UP ON THE SOFA, 156 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,480 AND WATCHED SOME BRITISH TELEVISION. 157 00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,510 RETURN TO CRANFORD. HAVE YOU SEEN IT? 158 00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,720 OH, IT'S A REAL TREAT. - HMM. 159 00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:15,220 - OF COURSE WE FUCKED! THE GUY'S AN ANIMAL. 160 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,650 [laughs] 161 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,120 COME ON. - [chuckles] 162 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,690 DID HE WEAR A RUBBER? 163 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,660 - OH, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE. THAT'S MY POLICY. 164 00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:24,030 - THAT'S A SOLID POLICY. 165 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,030 [knocks on door] 166 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,940 - HI, CHARLIE. - HI, LIZZIE. 167 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,510 - CAN I COME IN? 168 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,980 - OOH, DO YOU THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE? 169 00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,140 - IN THIS CASE, YES. 170 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,080 I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE. 171 00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:43,280 - GOOD-BYE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 172 00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:45,210 YOU JUST SAID HELLO. 173 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,620 - MARCY LET ME GO. 174 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:49,720 - REALLY? 175 00:07:49,750 --> 00:07:53,190 AS IN, FIRED YOU? WHY? 176 00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:57,590 - WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY, BUT... 177 00:07:57,630 --> 00:07:58,930 BASICALLY, SHE THINKS I WAS TRYING 178 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,070 TO SEDUCE HER HUSBAND. - WERE YOU? 179 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,270 - STU'S NOT EXACTLY MY TYPE, CHARLIE. 180 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:07,940 - HE HAS A VERY BIG PENIS. SERIOUSLY. 181 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,670 IT'S LIKE A PILE OF SNAKES WITH AN APPLE ON TOP. 182 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,640 - THAT'S DISGUSTING, CHARLIE. 183 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,650 - VERY. SO, WHAT HAPPENED? 184 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,320 - WELL, STUART WAS TAKING A NAP, AND IT WAS SO HOT IN THE HILLS. 185 00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:22,050 I THOUGHT I'D GO FOR A SWIM. 186 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:25,320 THEY'RE ALWAYS ENCOURAGING ME TO USE THEIR POOL. 187 00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:28,020 I DIDN'T HAVE A BATHING SUIT. 188 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:29,990 - CONTINUE...PLEASE. 189 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:33,800 - BUT NO ONE WAS HOME. 190 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,720 [gasps] MR. BEGGS, I AM SO SORRY! 191 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,350 STUART'S ASLEEP, AND I THOUGHT I WAS HERE ALONE. 192 00:08:56,390 --> 00:08:59,320 - NO APOLOGIES, DEAR. 193 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,630 YOU HAVE A MAGNIFICENT BODY. 194 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:07,000 AND CALL ME STU. 195 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:10,600 - SO, YOU WERE NAKED. - COMPLETELY. 196 00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,100 AND I THINK HE MUST'VE SAID SOMETHING TO MARCY, 197 00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,140 AND SHE THOUGHT IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. 198 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:16,940 AND THEN SUDDENLY, SHE STARTED SCREAMING, 199 00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:20,180 AND I WAS FIRED. CHARLIE? 200 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:25,680 - YOU LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN DO. 201 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,180 I'LL--I'LL GO TALK TO THEM. 202 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,990 - [sighs] THANK YOU, CHARLIE, YOU'RE A DREAM. 203 00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:34,990 - NOW, JUST SO I'M CLEAR, YOU WERE TOTALLY NAKED? 204 00:09:35,020 --> 00:09:36,390 - YES, CHARLIE. - OKAY. 205 00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:38,660 GOOD. GOT IT. 206 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,670 - YEAH. UM, DO YOU MIND TERRIBLY IF I USE YOUR SHOWER? 207 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:44,200 IT'S JUST--I FEEL SO DIRTY AND DISGUSTING AFTER ALL THIS. 208 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:48,370 - NO PROBLEM AT ALL! BE MY GUEST. 209 00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,340 UM-- - YES. 210 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:54,710 I'LL BE TOTALLY NAKED IN YOUR SHOWER CHARLIE. 211 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:55,980 - EXCELLENT! 212 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,320 - FUCK IT, I GOTTA KNOW. DID SHE SAY WHAT HAPPENED? 213 00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:04,850 - WHO? 214 00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,920 - THE STRIPPER, GODDAMN IT! - AH, YEAH. 215 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,730 RIGHT, THE STRIPPER. YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW? 216 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,760 - NO! BUT I GOTTA KNOW WHAT I'M DEALING WITH HERE. 217 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,360 LIKE, IF I CHEATED ON THIS WOMAN, THIS... 218 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,430 INCREDIBLE FUCKING GODDESS OF A WOMAN, MY QUEEN-- 219 00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:20,240 - [sighs] - I GOTTA COME CLEAN, HANK. 220 00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:22,240 SHE'S BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH. 221 00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:23,670 NO OFFENSE. 222 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:27,140 - SOME TAKEN. 223 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,950 ALL RIGHT, WELL THIS IS WHAT SHE TOLD ME. 224 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,920 SHE SAID SHE BROUGHT YOU HOME, AND SHE WAS DOWN FOR ANYTHING. 225 00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:36,150 AND YOU WERE TEMPTED, BUT YOU FOUGHT HER OFF. 226 00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:37,350 - [sighs] 227 00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:38,350 - SAID YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH YOUR WIFE. 228 00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:39,460 YOU COULDN'T DO IT. 229 00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:41,990 YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET IT UP! 230 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:44,360 - JESUS. 231 00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:46,360 I'M RELIEVED, BUT ASHAMED. 232 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:47,830 THE DRINKING DOES THAT TO A MAN. 233 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:50,100 - WELL, IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US. 234 00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:51,970 - [sighs] JESUS. - NOT REALLY. 235 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,740 - I'M SO RELIEVED. 236 00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:58,010 THANK YOU. 237 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,780 - WHY? WHY? - EX-EXACTLY! 238 00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:02,750 - YEAH, WHY? - WHY? YOU TELL ME WHY. 239 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:06,050 WHY MUST TWO MEN BE CONFINED TO HANDSHAKES AND HUGS? 240 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,920 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THAT'S NOT ENOUGH? 241 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,250 - YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! 242 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,220 WHAT? 243 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,460 - FOR SUCH A FINE MAN, YOU'RE SO DAMN LIMITED. 244 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,760 - IT'S A BURDEN, BUT I COPE. - [sighs] 245 00:11:15,790 --> 00:11:17,460 - HOW 'BOUT A BREATH MINT, DUDE? 246 00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:18,730 YOU KNOW, YOU BEEN THROWING UP ALL MORNING. 247 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,730 - YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE? 248 00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:23,970 - SO YOU JUST FIRE HER JUST LIKE THAT? 249 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,200 NO SECOND CHANCE, NO-- 250 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,200 - YEAH, WELL, SHE'S A DIRTY LITTLE SLUT! 251 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,170 - HEY! LIZZIE IS MANY THINGS. 252 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:32,440 "DIRTY LITTLE SLUT" CERTAINLY ISN'T ONE OF THEM. 253 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,440 - WHO SWIMS NAKED IN A POOL WHEN THE MAN OF THE HOUSE IS HOME? 254 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,280 - SHE WAS HOT! 255 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,080 SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS ALONE! 256 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,920 - WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HER SO MUCH? 257 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,950 - BECAUSE SHE'S GREAT WITH OUR SON! 258 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:45,220 [baby crying] - YO! I'M DONE. 259 00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:48,220 DID MY BEST. YOU'RE UP, MARCY. 260 00:11:48,260 --> 00:11:51,190 - I FUCKING HATE NOT HAVING A NANNY! 261 00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:57,230 - WHAT ABOUT YOU, BIG-TIME MOVIE PRODUCER? 262 00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:59,200 YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS? 263 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:04,170 - CHARLIE, I'VE PRODUCED MOVIES. BIG, SMALL. 264 00:12:04,210 --> 00:12:07,080 I'VE RUN TWO STUDIOS. I HAVE MANAGED THE EGOS 265 00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,880 OF SOME OF THE GREATEST MOVIE STARS IN THE WORLD, 266 00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:12,380 BUT I CANNOT BOSS THIS WOMAN AROUND. 267 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:13,780 SHE RULES THE ROOST. 268 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,480 - WHICH IS JUST A FANCY WAY OF SAYING 269 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,390 YOU'RE FUCKING PUSSY-WHIPPED. 270 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:20,260 - PRECISELY. 271 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:23,090 BESIDES, THERE WAS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT IT. 272 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:24,190 - WHAT? 273 00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:26,360 - THE THING WITH LIZZIE. 274 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,430 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 275 00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:31,400 - I MEAN, THERE WAS A STRANGE VIBE. 276 00:12:31,430 --> 00:12:34,370 [whistling] 277 00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:42,250 [choir singing] 278 00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,860 - I'M SO SORRY, MR. BEGGS. 279 00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:56,860 STUART'S ASLEEP. I THOUGHT THAT NO ONE WAS HOME. 280 00:12:56,890 --> 00:13:00,230 - NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE, AND CALL ME STU! 281 00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,830 [giggles] 282 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,270 YOU HAVE A MAGNIFICENT BODY! 283 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,330 - THANK YOU! 284 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,970 DO YOU THINK I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN ACTRESS? 285 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,610 - YES. 286 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:14,240 - I DON'T SEE LIZZIE AS THE KIND OF GIRL TO JUST... 287 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,280 THROW HERSELF AT SOME CREEPY OLD MARRIED GUY. 288 00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:21,280 - RUNKLE... 289 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,950 I KNOW I AM NOT A HANDSOME MAN, 290 00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,090 BUT I AM A VERY SUCCESSFUL MAN. 291 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,860 I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE HIT ON BY PRETTY YOUNG THINGS 292 00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:30,590 WHO WANT SOMETHING FROM ME. 293 00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:35,260 - MUST BE NICE. WISH I DID. 294 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:44,440 - WHEW! DO NOT GO IN THERE FOR AT LEAST 24 HOURS. 295 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:45,640 - OKAY. 296 00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:47,140 - HEY, LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S NEAT. 297 00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,140 - THANK YOU. - CAN I PLAY WITH IT? 298 00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:48,980 - NO! PLEASE DON'T TOUCH-- 299 00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:49,850 - DO YOU HAVE MATCHBOX CARS? - NO! 300 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,420 I HAVE A PITCH TO A CLIENT TOMORROW. 301 00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:54,320 - HOW'S BATESY? 302 00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:57,450 - HE'S ASLEEP, YOU KNOW, SLEEPING IT OFF UPSTAIRS. 303 00:13:57,490 --> 00:13:59,090 - HOW ARE YOU? 304 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,360 [sighs] - WELL, WHAT CAN I DO? 305 00:14:00,390 --> 00:14:02,290 I MEAN, HE'S GOING THROUGH A CRISIS, YOU KNOW? 306 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:05,230 IF I--IF I THROW HIM OUT, IF I LEAVE, 307 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,000 THEN IT'S JUST GONNA GET WORSE, RIGHT? 308 00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:09,600 - SO THAT'S IT? YOU'RE JUST GONNA STAND BY YOUR MAN? 309 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:13,400 - THAT'S WHAT I DO. 310 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,640 THANKS FOR BRINGING HIM HOME, BY THE WAY. 311 00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:16,870 - IT'S MY PLEASURE, 312 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:20,080 AND I--AND I WANNA APOLOGIZE FOR THAT WEIRDNESS THIS MORNING. 313 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:23,510 YOU KNOW I LOVE SPENDING ANY AMOUNT OF TIME WITH YOU, 314 00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:26,380 HOWEVER CHASTE. [doorbell rings] 315 00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,350 - COULD YOU GET IT? IT'S PROBABLY JUST TYLER. 316 00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:30,290 - [sarcastically] OH, FABULOUS. 317 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,120 - STOP IT. C-COULD YOU SAY SORRY? 318 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,990 - I DID! - NO, AGAIN, LIKE YOU MEAN IT. 319 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:42,200 - OH! - WHAT THE FUCK, STRIPPER? 320 00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:43,670 - I FOUND THIS ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR, 321 00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,300 AND I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE HE'D WANT IT BACK! 322 00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:47,140 - HAVE YOU NO SHAME? HE'S A MARRIED MAN! 323 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:49,140 - OH, SO WHAT? I DIDN'T COME HERE TO TELL HIS WIFE 324 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:50,310 THAT HE BANGS STRIPPERS ON THE SIDE. 325 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,640 - HE DOESN'T BANG STRIPPERS ON THE SIDE. 326 00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:53,410 HE'S GOT A DRINKING PROBLEM IS ALL--A LITTLE ONE. 327 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,980 - OH, I'LL SAY. GUY'S A FUCKIN' LUNATIC. 328 00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,050 HE WANTED ME TO SHOVE A DILDO UP HIS ASS 329 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,080 AND JERK HIM OFF AT THE SAME TIME. 330 00:14:58,110 --> 00:14:58,980 - OH! COME ON! 331 00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,620 - WHAT IS THAT CALLED AGAIN? - PAINFUL? 332 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,420 - NO, THE DIGGING TO CHINA? - AGAINST GOD? 333 00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:03,490 - THE FI--TH-TH-THE FIRE HOSE. 334 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,060 N-N-N-NO. THE BAZOOKA. - WOW. 335 00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:07,420 - NO, NO, NO, THE SHOTGUN. THAT'S WHAT-- 336 00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,090 [imitates shotgun] - OKAY. YEAH, OKAY, OKAY. 337 00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:10,030 - OH, GOD. I'M SORRY. 338 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,100 I GOT SO MUCH CRAZY SHIT GOIN' ON UP HERE. 339 00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:14,030 - I'LL SAY. - [laughs] 340 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,230 WELL, SO, I'M HERE WITH HIS WALLET. 341 00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:17,170 - COOL. - YEAH. 342 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,670 - HAND IT OVER, STRIPPER. BE ON YOUR WAY. 343 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,500 - NO FINDER'S FEE? 344 00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:27,010 - WHAT, IS EVERYTHING TIP-BASED WITH YOU PEOPLE? 345 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,280 THERE YOU GO. 346 00:15:31,310 --> 00:15:32,550 [mutters] NOT MUCH ROOM THERE. 347 00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:35,220 - MM-HMM. IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, HANK. 348 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,350 - HOW DO I KNOW YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING OUT OF HIS WALLET? 349 00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:40,490 - WELL, I'M NOT A FUCKIN' THIEF, YOU ASSHOLE. JESUS. 350 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,660 YOU KNOW, NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED IN THIS TOWN. 351 00:15:42,690 --> 00:15:44,130 - YES, THAT'S RIGHT. 352 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,300 YOU'RE A REGULAR GIRL SCOUT, AREN'T YA? 353 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,530 - WHAT'S YOUR PART IN ALL THIS? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 354 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:48,730 - WELL, HE'S MARRIED. 355 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,070 HE LIVES IN THE BIG HOUSE BEHIND THE WHITE PICKET FENCE, 356 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,440 SO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? HIS GAY LOVER? 357 00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,370 [both chuckle] 358 00:15:55,400 --> 00:16:00,540 - IF YOU MUST KNOW, HIS WIFE IS MY BABY MAMA. 359 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,710 COME HERE. 360 00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:03,710 - WHO'S THAT? 361 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,350 - MY GIRLFRIEND. 362 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,420 - HOLLY. - HOLLY. 363 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:07,420 - HOLLY! - YEAH. 364 00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:08,520 - KAREN. - KAREN. 365 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,750 - IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU, HOLLY. 366 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:13,790 UM, WELL, YOU GUYS WANNA COME IN, OR-- 367 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,190 - NO, NO, SHE'S JUST MEETING ME HERE. 368 00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:17,290 WE'RE GOING HIKING. 369 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,430 - YOU HIKE? 370 00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:19,500 - OH, YEAH! OF COURSE I DO. 371 00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:21,600 I LOVE IT. LOVE IT. 372 00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,400 - WHERE? 373 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:25,500 - UM, GONNA GO UP, 374 00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:29,570 UH, MANDER...HOFF CANYON. 375 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:31,470 - I HAVEN'T HEARD OF THAT. - ME NEITHER! 376 00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,410 - WELL, TH-THAT'S WHY I LIKE IT! IT'S LESS CROWDED. 377 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,140 ROAD LESS TRAVELED AND WHATNOT. 378 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:38,150 YOU GOTTA WATCH OUT FOR THE SNAKES, THOUGH. 379 00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:40,450 - YOU KNOW WHAT, KAREN? I WOULD LOVE TO COME INSIDE. 380 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,720 - NO, NO. - YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOME. 381 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,450 - THANK YOU, HOLLY. PLEASE COME IN. 382 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:50,160 WELCOME. 383 00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:51,160 [whispers] IS SHE A STRIPPER? 384 00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:53,360 - NO, SHE'S JUST WORKIN' HER WAY THROUGH SCHOOL. 385 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,700 DON'T BE SO FUCKIN' JUDGMENTAL, KAREN. GOD. 386 00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:07,840 - JESUS! - CHARLIE! 387 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,280 - THAT WAS A LONG FUCKING SHOWER! 388 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,680 - I'M SO SORRY. I DOZED OFF. 389 00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,350 I WAS UPSET, AND I SAT ON THE COUCH FOR A SECOND, 390 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,350 AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, TWO HOURS HAD GONE BY. 391 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:18,650 - IT'S OKAY. I JUST-- I-I GOT SCARED. 392 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:20,820 NOW, I'M DELIGHTED. 393 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:23,130 - I'M JUST REALLY OUT OF SORTS. 394 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,360 [sighs] I'VE JUST LOST ANOTHER JOB, 395 00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:26,830 AND I SPENT ALL THIS MONEY ON ACTING CLASSES. 396 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,560 - ACTING CLASSES? 397 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,170 WHAT HAPPENED TO WRITING CHILDREN'S BOOKS? 398 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,540 WH-WH-WHAT HAPPENED TO GOING TO COOKING SCHOOL? 399 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:35,270 - I TOLD YOU. I CHANGE MY MIND ALL THE TIME. 400 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,570 I HAVEN'T FOUND MYSELF YET. 401 00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:40,640 BESIDES, STU SAID HE THINKS I MIGHT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES 402 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,780 TO BE AN ACTRESS. 403 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:45,680 - WELL, YOU CERTAINLY GOT THE BEAUTY PART DOWN PAT. 404 00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:49,890 - YOU'RE SO SWEET TO ME, CHARLIE. 405 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,820 - WHAT CAN I SAY, YOU, UH, SUMMON THE SWEETNESS IN ME. 406 00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:00,900 AS WELL AS SOME OTHER STUFF. 407 00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,430 - YES, I CAN TELL. [chuckles] 408 00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:05,370 - [sighs] - WELL, GUESS WHAT. 409 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,170 - WHAT? 410 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,310 - I DON'T WORK FOR STU AND MARCY ANYMORE. 411 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,540 - I KNOW. YOU TOLD ME. 412 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:16,410 - SO, THIS WHOLE THING ISN'T QUITE AS INAPPROPRIATE 413 00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:18,180 AS IT ONCE WAS. 414 00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:22,190 - I GUESS IT'S NOT. 415 00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:23,350 SO... 416 00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:27,590 I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE INAPPROPRIATE... 417 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,290 TO DO THIS. 418 00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:37,870 - NOT AT ALL. 419 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:42,540 JUST LIKE IT'S NOT INAPPROPRIATE TO DO THIS. 420 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:49,710 - [whimpers] 421 00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,420 - SO, HOLLY, Y-YOU'RE A DANCER. - YEAH. 422 00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:55,550 - OH, ACTUALLY, KAREN, NO. I AM A STRIPPER. 423 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:57,790 AND I'M A REALIST. 424 00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:01,620 IT'S LIKE, DO YOU GO TO THE CINEMA, 425 00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,190 OR DO YOU GO TO THE MOVIES? 426 00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:05,390 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I GO TO THE FUCKIN' MOVIES. 427 00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:07,900 - RIGHT. - HOW 'BOUT YOU, HANDSOME? 428 00:19:07,930 --> 00:19:08,960 HUH? 429 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,900 YOU LIKE STRIPPERS? OR DANCERS? 430 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:14,540 - OH, STRIP-- DANCERS. 431 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,800 - YOU'RE FUCKIN' HOT, DUDE. 432 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,440 YOU IN A BAND? 433 00:19:18,470 --> 00:19:20,380 - KIND OF A BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND THING GOIN' ON-- 434 00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,350 - NO, I'M NOT IN A BAND, BUT I DO PLAY SOME GUITAR. 435 00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:25,850 - OOH, GUITARISTS ARE THE BEST! 436 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,520 SO GOOD WITH THEIR FUCKIN' HANDS! RIGHT? 437 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:30,590 THEY KNOW HOW TO FIND THE SPOT. RIGHT, BABY? 438 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,460 [laughs] AND THEN THAT GUITAR, 439 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:34,760 UP ON STAGE, IT'S LIKE THIS PULSING MEMBER, 440 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:36,790 AND THEY'RE JUST WORKIN' IT, AND WORKIN' IT, AND WORKIN' IT. 441 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:39,900 I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. RIGHT, HONEY? 442 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,930 - I DON'T WANNA KNOW IF SHE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 443 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:46,500 - AM I GONNA HAVE TO GET USED TO THIS ONE, DAD? 444 00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:50,470 - OH, I'M SORRY. I'M NOT VERY DOMESTICATED. 445 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:51,710 - YEAH, JUST DON'T PEE ON THE RUG. 446 00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:54,880 - OH, I DID THAT ONCE! AT VINCE NEIL'S HOUSE, 447 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,450 I WAS SO DRUNK, I JUST SQUATTED ON THE FLOOR, 448 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,720 AND I PEED EVERYWHERE. [laughs] 449 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,680 HE THOUGHT IT WAS HOT. 450 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,790 - THAT'S NICE. SO, WHERE'D YOU GUYS MEET? 451 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:07,720 - OH, BACKSTAGE AT A MOTLEY SHOW. 452 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,690 I HAD TO WRAP MY LIPS AROUND THE TOUR MANAGER. 453 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:13,000 IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT. - I THINK SHE MEANS US. 454 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:16,530 - OH, RIGHT. RIGHT. UM-- 455 00:20:16,570 --> 00:20:19,440 - TRADER JOE'S. - YEAH. 456 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:23,310 HE WAS HANDLING THE MELONS! [laughs] 457 00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:28,310 - [chuckles] NO. 458 00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:30,750 - SO, YOU TWO USED TO BE A COUPLE, RIGHT? 459 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,620 AND THIS IS YOUR LITTLE GIRL. 460 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:35,020 SO NOW, WHEN DOES BATES ENTER THE PICTURE? 461 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,420 - HOW DO YOU KNOW RICHARD? 462 00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:39,460 - SHE DOESN'T. I JUST TOLD HER ABOUT HIM. 463 00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:41,060 - WHY? 464 00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:43,730 - 'CAUSE HE'S SUCH A FUCKIN' CHARACTER, KAREN. THAT'S WHY. 465 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,600 - TOTALLY. [gasps] 466 00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:49,600 - I MEAN, FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD. - YEAH. 467 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:59,410 - SO, UM, ANYONE WANT ANOTHER DRINK? 468 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,680 - I DO! 469 00:21:00,710 --> 00:21:02,350 - I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND, MOM. - THANKS, SWEETIE. 470 00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,980 - I'M GONNA COME WITH YOU GUYS. 471 00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:05,950 I NEED TO USE THE LADIES' ROOM. 472 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:09,850 I GOTTA PEE LIKE A FUCKIN' RACEHORSE. 473 00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:11,050 - [grunts] 474 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:16,360 - [chuckles] WAY TO GO, HANK. 475 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:17,830 REALLY NICE GIRL YOU GOT YOURSELF THERE. 476 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,630 [whistles] CLASS UP THE WAZOO. 477 00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:20,630 - SHUT UP. 478 00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:21,760 - YEAH, WHATEVER, LOOK. WHAT I WANNA KNOW IS... 479 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,730 [clears throat] DID BATES FUCK THAT CHICK OR SOMETHING? 480 00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:28,470 - WHAT? YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND. 481 00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,710 - OH, BULLSHIT. THAT CHICK IS NOT YOUR TYPE. 482 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:32,680 - WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY TYPE? 483 00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,340 - I KNOW YOUR TYPE, AND SHE'S INSIDE. 484 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:36,810 AND SHE'S NOT THE ONE PISSING "LIKE A FUCKIN' RACEHORSE." 485 00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:40,580 MY QUESTION IS, WHY ARE YOU WORKING SO VERY HARD 486 00:21:40,620 --> 00:21:44,650 TO PROTECT HER FROM THE TRUTH? 487 00:21:44,690 --> 00:21:47,460 - WELL, MAYBE SHE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT? 488 00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:50,060 - OKAY, YEAH, BUT MAYBE SHE AND BATES DON'T MAKE IT, 489 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,900 AND THEN YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF ANOTHER SHOT AT THE GOOD LIFE. 490 00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:54,530 - MIND YOUR BUSINESS, SON. 491 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,730 AND DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T ENTERTAINED THAT VERY NOTION. 492 00:21:56,770 --> 00:21:59,570 BUT MY STRICT MORAL CODE PROHIBITS ME... 493 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,740 - FAIR ENOUGH. - ACTING ON IT. 494 00:22:00,770 --> 00:22:03,740 - MM-HMM. 495 00:22:03,770 --> 00:22:06,810 I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU... 496 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:07,810 WOULD YOU DO A FAVOR FOR ME? 497 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,140 - NO. 498 00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:13,150 - NO? THAT QUICK? REALLY? 499 00:22:13,180 --> 00:22:16,050 - WHAT? 500 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,150 - WILL YOU READ MY SCREENPLAY? 501 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:18,590 - FUCK YOU. 502 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:20,690 - [scoffs] OKAY. 503 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,490 WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW... 504 00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:27,430 I DON'T HAVE THE SAME STRICT MORAL CODE THAT YOU DO, HANK. 505 00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,700 - I GIVE IT TEN PAGES. - THANK YOU. 506 00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:35,670 [both moaning] 507 00:22:48,820 --> 00:22:51,750 - [sighs] 508 00:22:53,020 --> 00:22:57,160 THAT... WAS EXQUISITE! 509 00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:59,630 BEST SEX OF MY LIFE! DID YOU SEE HOW LONG I LASTED? 510 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:00,760 - [cries] 511 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,870 - HUH? OH, NO. NO, N-- YOU'RE CRYING. 512 00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:08,140 OF COURSE YOU'RE CRYING. 513 00:23:08,170 --> 00:23:10,510 I DIRTIED YOU. I'M SO SORRY. 514 00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:14,610 - I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW. 515 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:19,980 [cell phone vibrates] - [sighs] 516 00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:21,980 F--[exhales] HELLO? 517 00:23:22,020 --> 00:23:23,750 [baby crying] - HAVE YOU TALKED TO LIZZIE? 518 00:23:23,790 --> 00:23:24,650 - NO. 519 00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:27,020 - WELL, I LEFT HER A BUNCH OF MESSAGES, 520 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:28,660 AND SHE'S NOT CALLING ME BACK. 521 00:23:28,690 --> 00:23:31,230 - WHY SHOULD SHE? YOU FIRED HER FOR NO FUCKING REASON. 522 00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:33,860 - OKAY, SO I'M HIRING HER BACK, 523 00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:35,560 BECAUSE STUART'S A LITTLE FUCKIN' NIGHTMARE, 524 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,030 AND SHE'S GOT THE MAGIC TOUCH. 525 00:23:37,070 --> 00:23:40,770 - SHE CERTAINLY DOES. 526 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,240 WELL, IF I SEE HER, I WILL LET HER KNOW. 527 00:23:44,270 --> 00:23:46,110 - THANKS. 528 00:23:46,140 --> 00:23:47,580 HEY, YOU WOULDN'T WANNA COME OVER HERE 529 00:23:47,610 --> 00:23:49,140 AND SEE IF YOU COULD PUT STUART DOWN, WOULD YOU-- 530 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:54,880 [phone clicks] HELLO? 531 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,690 - GUESS WHAT. - WHAT? 532 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,660 - LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE GOT YOU YOUR JOB BACK. 533 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,790 - [laughs] THANK YOU, CHARLIE. 534 00:24:03,830 --> 00:24:06,900 - I GUESS... 535 00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:08,160 THIS ISN'T QUITE SO... 536 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,570 [British accent] APPROPRIATE ANYMORE? 537 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,140 - WELL, I HAVEN'T OFFICIALLY ACCEPTED THE POSITION YET. 538 00:24:15,170 --> 00:24:18,010 - AH. - UH-HUH. 539 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,010 [Jackyl's She Loves My Cock] 540 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:27,650 * 541 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,720 - * WELL, SHE LOVES MY COCK 542 00:24:30,750 --> 00:24:32,720 * LOVES MY COCK 543 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,120 - COME ON, GIRLS, UNLEASH YOUR INNER WHORES. 544 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,060 I KNOW THEY'RE IN THERE. COME ON. LIKE THIS. 545 00:24:38,090 --> 00:24:40,530 COME ON, ROLL YOUR HIPS. YOU KNOW-- 546 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,760 - DID YOU PUT SOMETHING IN MY DRINK? 547 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,900 - WELL, IF I DID, I GOT SOME IN MINE, TOO. 548 00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:43,830 THAT'S FOR SURE. 549 00:24:43,870 --> 00:24:46,670 - THE POLE, RIGHT. UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH. 550 00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:48,040 COME ON, TALL BOY. 551 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:51,010 - UH...OH! 552 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,010 [clears throat] 553 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,240 - YES. 554 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,950 UH-HUH. UH-HUH. UH-HUH. 555 00:24:56,980 --> 00:24:58,780 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. - HEY! 556 00:24:58,810 --> 00:25:00,780 - HEY. HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 557 00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:02,890 - WHAT THE FUCK? 558 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,950 - HEY! HEY, HEY! OW! - [yells] 559 00:25:05,990 --> 00:25:09,160 GET OUT! GET OUT! - HEY! 560 00:25:09,190 --> 00:25:11,690 [Bates growls] [Holly screams] 561 00:25:11,730 --> 00:25:13,230 - YOU COME TO MY HOME? 562 00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:17,200 YOU LAY HANDS ON MY WOMAN? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU? 563 00:25:17,230 --> 00:25:19,670 YOU PSYCHO SLUT FROM HELL! 564 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:21,170 - BATESY, BATESY! SHE'S WITH ME! 565 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,240 THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND. 566 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:25,770 HOLLY. 567 00:25:25,810 --> 00:25:33,750 * 568 00:25:43,030 --> 00:25:45,990 - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, HOLLY. 569 00:25:46,030 --> 00:25:49,930 I'LL BE UPSTAIRS. 570 00:25:52,770 --> 00:25:53,740 - HOW CAN I HELP? 571 00:25:53,770 --> 00:25:54,600 - YOU CAN TAKE YOUR TRAMP, 572 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,240 AND YOU CAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! 573 00:25:57,270 --> 00:25:58,370 - OH! WHO'S SHE CALLING A TRAMP, HUH? 574 00:25:58,410 --> 00:25:59,940 - PRETTY SURE SHE MEANS YOU. 575 00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:01,680 - THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 576 00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:04,350 EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING TOUCH TURNS TO SHIT! 577 00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:05,950 - I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 578 00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:07,650 BUT I DON'T THINK THIS IS HANK'S FAULT. 579 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:08,650 - SHUT UP! - SHUT UP! 580 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,920 - SHUTTING UP. 581 00:26:09,950 --> 00:26:11,320 - OH, NO, NO. IT IS MY FAULT. 582 00:26:11,350 --> 00:26:13,690 IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT. 583 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,030 HOW CAN I BE OF SERVICE? 584 00:26:17,060 --> 00:26:19,060 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO, TRAMP. 585 00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:20,630 - I'LL GET YOU THAT SCREENPLAY, HANK. 586 00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:21,860 - YEAH, CAN'T WAIT. 587 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,730 BECCA, LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU. 588 00:26:23,770 --> 00:26:24,900 STAY OFF THE POLE. 589 00:26:24,930 --> 00:26:28,370 - YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? DO YOU SEE ANYONE LAUGHING? 590 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,970 I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU SHOWING UP OUT OF NOWHERE 591 00:26:30,010 --> 00:26:32,910 AND FUCKING WITH OUR LIVES. 592 00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,640 LIKE SOMEHOW YOU KNOW BETTER. 593 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,680 YOU MAKE A MESS, AND THEN YOU WALTZ OFF, 594 00:26:37,710 --> 00:26:39,310 LIKE YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING NOBLE. 595 00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:43,220 BUT WE HAVE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU! 596 00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:45,790 LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU, DAD. 597 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:49,660 STAY THE FUCK AWAY. 598 00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:53,330 I LIKE YOU MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU'RE IN NEW YORK. 599 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:56,670 - WHOO! CHICK'S GOT FUCKIN' BALLS, HUH? 600 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,730 THANKS FOR THE HOSPITALITY, BITCHES! 601 00:26:58,770 --> 00:27:02,970 MM-HMM. 602 00:27:03,010 --> 00:27:05,840 - [whispers] YOU ALL RIGHT? 603 00:27:05,870 --> 00:27:08,940 - [sighs] WANNA GET A DRINK? 604 00:27:08,980 --> 00:27:10,350 - SURE, WHY NOT? 605 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:11,880 - COOL, LET'S HIT THE 'BOW. 606 00:27:11,910 --> 00:27:13,820 - THE RAINBOW? - MM-HMM. 607 00:27:13,850 --> 00:27:16,150 - I WENT THERE ONCE WITH A GUY NAMED LEW ASHBY. 608 00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:17,150 YOU EVER HEARD OF HIM? 609 00:27:17,190 --> 00:27:18,750 - HEAR OF HIM? [laughs] 610 00:27:18,790 --> 00:27:22,690 SUCKED HIS DICK MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT. 611 00:27:22,730 --> 00:27:25,160 OOH! 612 00:27:25,190 --> 00:27:28,830 YOU HAVE A PORSCHE, HUH? 613 00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:31,770 VERY, VERY HOT. THAT MAKES MAMA WET. 614 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,800 HOLY SHIT, THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG! 615 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,340 CHECK IT OUT. WATCH THIS. 616 00:27:36,370 --> 00:27:39,340 [Whitesnake's Here I Go Again] 617 00:27:39,370 --> 00:27:42,310 - * AND HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN * 618 00:27:42,340 --> 00:27:47,480 * GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I'VE EVER KNOWN * 619 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,890 * LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN * 620 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:54,160 * TO WALK ALONE 621 00:27:54,190 --> 00:27:59,230 * AND I'VE MADE UP MY MIND 622 00:27:59,260 --> 00:28:03,770 * I AIN'T WASTING NO MORE TIME * 623 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:08,940 * AND HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN * 624 00:28:08,970 --> 00:28:14,140 * GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I'VE EVER KNOWN * 625 00:28:14,180 --> 00:28:16,240 * LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN 626 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:20,780 * TO WALK ALONE 627 00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:24,990 * 'CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS 628 00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:30,290 * TO WALK ALONG THE LONELY STREET OF DREAMS * 629 00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:33,760 * AN' HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN *